Suddenly Chester starts whimpering in his sleep…
"Donald – do you think Chester is OK?”
“Yes, I’m sure he’s fine. Dreaming about that cocker spaniel
again, no doubt. Just as long as he’s not passing gas. This room hasn’t been
the same since Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
It’s almost as if he can understand English and mistook the movie title for a
command."
“Oh, leave poor Chester
alone,” said Rosemary, defending the Pilkingtons' pet pooch of seven years. “I
think the Christmas turkey was a bit off. My stomach was a bit iffy afterwards,
too."
“Mummy, Mummy! Look – Chester’s
wearing a sombrero! He’s a Mexican Retriever!”
“Take that hat off him, Cody! Stop annoying Chester. Let him snooze in peace."
(“Yes, stop that Cody.
Like that’s really going to make a difference. He doesn’t take a blind bit of
notice of your directions, Rosemary. You’ve got to discipline him more. Well,
period. Wait for it, here comes the handlebar moustache…)
“Look Mummy, Chester’s
got a muss-dash!”
“Cody! Go and play with your new lego set. And don’t leave
any pieces lying around, as Chester
may eat them.”
(Eat lego? What do you
take me for? How am I going to digest that? Perhaps more easily than the
turkey, which was a bit undercooked, but still. Actually, us dogs have
digestive systems of steel, what am I talking about. Lego, here I come!)
Animal Planet comes on the TV, featuring Bactrian camels.
British wildlife presenting legend Sir David Attenborough is the guest
commentator…
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