#35: The 12 Yays! of Christmas

Christmas. That magical time of year, when we all come together to eat, drink and behave like absolute idiots at the office party. But also a time to relax and rejuvenate after a busy year slogging our guts out in this crazy game of life. We need to escape, and what better way than getting stuck into Yuletide?

Here are 12 reasons why the holiday season beats the pants off its rivals:

1. Christmas Spirit. What’s not to love about eggnog-laced rum—I mean, rum eggnog? And then there’s the ‘community’ kind of spirit, too. Singing carols in the mall, wishing people Yuletide cheer, and trying to outdo the neighbours by flaring up our house exteriors and gardens with whoppa-gangnam-style Christmas light displays, so extensive and extravagant they threaten to wipe out the entire provincial power grid for five years.

2. Decorations. We go barmy Christmas tree hunting in a bid to grab the best deal on an evergreen conifer (the smell of authentic pine needles is hard to beat). Then we dress her up in baubles, holly, fairy lights and tinsel. And once we’ve finished decorating the dog, we move onto the tree. Tinselizing the tree, in particular, is great bonding time for the family. And a chance to reacquaint ourselves with our attic/loft, which we visit but once-a-year (on average) to dig out and blow the dust off our old favourites, in the dilapidated but sentimentally valuable, Decorations Box.

3. Food. Is there a better time of the year for eating? Taking a fortnight off from our normal monastic dietary regime to gorge on lashings of roast turkey with all the trimmings; spicy sweet or yam potatoes; turkey stuffing; organic steamed veg; cranberry sauce; and all coated in a juicy splodge of gravy. Then, after the starter, we tuck into the main course...

To read the rest of this column, check out BC Johnny's upcoming book: Chilled Almonds.