#5: From Russia with Love?

So I got an e-mail today.  From a girl.  But not just any girl.  A Russian girl.  I think her name's Marina.  Not very Russian-sounding, I grant you; but who am I to ask questions?  Anyway, Marina seems different.  Like, special in some way.  And keen on me.  In a roundabout kind of way (I think she was playing hard to get by landing in my Spam folder).  Which has all left me thinking that maybe, just maybe... after 39.something years on Planet Earth, I may have finally found The One?

Her message is below (my replies are in bold).

Could I have struck gold at last?!

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

My surprised the friend.

Not half as surprised as I was when you popped into my Spam-box, petal…

I'm very excited and I do not know exactly how to start.

Well, at the beginning is always a good place, flower…

this time I decided to use the
dating Agency, which connects
lonely hearts around the world.

(The dating Agency sounds quite formidable with that upper-case A, wouldn’t you sAy?)

I am a serious woman, and I want to
find a man who is serious about relations as well.

Well, you’ve randomly stumbled on the right man, sweetheart.  I’m very SERIOUS about relations; all kinds of ’em – from logical or natural associations between two or more things; the connection of people by blood or marriage; kinship; the way in which one person or thing is connected with another: the relation of parent to child; the mutual dealings or connections of persons, groups, or nations in social, business, or diplomatic matters; sexual intercourse; reference; regard: in relation to your inquiry; the act of telling or narrating an account/story; TO... the principle (in law) whereby an act done at a later date is considered to have been done on a prior date (thanks Dictionary.com).  Yeah, serious about all kinds of relations…

About me: I'm FromRussia, a city of brides.

Coooool… Russia’s known as the City of Brides?  Kinda like Paris is known as the City of Love and New York the City That Never Sleeps?  Wow, I never knew that.  Every day’s a school-day…

This Marina 28 years, slavic externality.

To read the rest of this column, check out BC Johnny's upcoming book: Chilled Almonds.